You’re Doing OK

A month or so ago, a friend was giving a talk in church. It was a great talk, but I’m not entirely sure that what I came away with is something he actually said.

Have you ever had one of those times where you’re not sure if a person spoke the words or if it was the Holy Ghost?

Anyway, he possibly posed a self-reflective question asking how long it had been since we’d been to the temple, and I started thinking, “Thirty days has September, April, June, and … I have no idea.”

I went home and looked at a calendar trying to figure it out, and still had no idea. So the next day the temple was open (Tuesday), I called the temple (we have one of those cute mini-temples near us that you have to make an appointment for), and set up my time. Friday at noon. I would make it work.

Friday was a pretty typical “get the kids out the door” morning.  Get up, make sure kids are up, get breakfast going (Yes, I make my children breakfast. I have four boys. I don’t dare send them off to their teachers without them being well fed.), pack lunches, remind people to brush their teeth and put on their shoes, pray, and kiss them on their way out.

Then I had a minute to breathe and think before it was my turn to get out the door. I usually try to go to the temple with something to ponder or a specific question, so I spent a minute asking Heavenly Father to guide my thoughts. Instead of a train of thought to ponder or someone specific to pray about, I was given some instruction.

I needed to go to the temple fasting.

But I wasn’t given anything specific to fast about. In an effort to follow the spirit even when I don’t fully understand, I started a fast and got in my car.

I had an hour-and-a-half drive to ponder and think, but still had no insights or thoughts as to what I was fasting for, and when I’ve gone to the temple alone in the past, the drive has been a time when I’ve had some great conversations with the Lord. So, I just put on some Hymns and drove. Truthfully, it was quite peaceful.

Sometimes when I get to the temple early, I will have a conversation in prayer, but again, I just had quiet. I started to wonder what I was fasting for.

Then, as my time there progressed, I had a very distinct thought come to my mind. “You’re doing ok.”

And I was a little blown away. I didn’t realize I didn’t feel like I was doing ok. I had no clue that the everyday tasks and the continuously changing phases the boys were going through and my husband’s constant need to be busy and an agent of change was wearing on me. I knew that I wasn’t feeling like I was on my “A” game, but I felt like I was mostly past that.

And yet, here I was, following promptings that I needed to get myself to the temple, and that I needed to increase my communication with the Holy Ghost by fasting, and return being greatly, greatly edified and uplifted.

Because that thought, “you’re doing ok”, wasn’t the only feeling I got that day. I was filled with a light and peace I had never felt before, at least that I can recall. My heart was lifted, my shoulders felt lighter (which is really something since they are ALWAYS tight), and my whole soul felt peace.

Years and years ago, I gained a testimony of how little we have to do to be greatly blessed. We just have to be trying, in some small way, and we will be blessed. I had to put forth the pretty minuscule effort of making an appointment, arranging a playdate, fasting, and driving, and in return I got an amazingly uplifting experience I didn’t even know I needed.

And I am so thankful for it. There have been many, many times since then that I have questioned myself, and I’ve been reminded that I have an answer for that. From God. And that’s pretty difficult to doubt.

And let me tell you this. If I’m doing ok, so are you.

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